There is a Light

"There is a Light in you which cannot die; whose presence is so holy that the world is sanctified because of you. All things that live bring gifts to you, and offer them in gratitude and gladness at your feet. The scent of flowers is their gift to you. The waves bow down before you, and the trees extend their arms to shield you from the heat, and lay their leaves before you on the ground that you may walk in softness, while the wind sinks to a whisper round your holy head."  ACIM........

As the personal sense of self steps back, the Light in us....the Universal I...the One Life and Love that we share and are as God created us.....steps forward to encompass and embrace each other and the world. Jesus…as a beautiful personification of the Christ Mind…tells us that this is the way and means of our salvation…of our freedom from all false beliefs, thoughts, ideas and concepts that hurt us and keep us in fear. We do walk on Holy ground… as our minds and hearts awaken out of the dream of self… to the truth of Who and What we are as Children of Light.

personal i….ego

personal i…ego. I can see its ways more clearly these days – its insanity, confusion, separateness as a self different and apart from all else. Its depth of fear – its belief in loss and sacrifice and smallness – “it” against and surrounded by all things not “it”, its endless critiques of criticism, analyze, grievances, its saturation with the belief in loss and deprivation, sacrifice and punishment as an inescapable part of life….but mostly and from which all this streams forth from…. its endless and bottomless terror based on believing in its inherent aloneness as a being separate and apart from Source and Self and thus at odds with all other aspects of life.

With increasing clarity of purpose and decision – I see and feel in my heart – as an awakening mind – the need and pure true Desire – to fully awaken to the I that I actually IS and AM…free of all belief and identification with and attachment to… the ideas, concepts and sentiments of the separate i-self…the self that is always swinging between the pair of opposites – always having and being a personal separate i/me…with “my” supply, “my” life, “my” feelings and love and companions, “my” understanding, nature and purpose and even, in its greatest grandiosity….”my” spirituality.

 Yet, how Clean, Clear, Spacious, Beautiful and Infinite is I – the true, authentic universal and shared  I....the Self and Life that is Us –and that is infinitely and specifically expressing as all that has existence….how Free, how Radiant.  The i self that parades around as who we are.....has no life or foundation except for our belief in it and our attachment to it.

Ego counsels loss at letting go of the personal i…of releasing and relinquishing – wholly…. its thoughts and beliefs of personal anything and everything…love, desire, awareness, life, body, being…it counsels a state of inertia, deadness,disconnect, unrelatability, aloneness, coldness, distance… hurting us and others….as the price for letting go of personal i….

Yet….Can this be? When God – as I – is Love and Love is ONLY unitive, gentle, kind, happy, whole, satisfying, purposeful…as fulfillment ItSelf?

I/we… do not need to intellectually understand how I is….how I “works”….but I can and do…. invite and ask for and open to….more and more expanding and greater and greater individual conscious awareness and experience of and as –  this I …of the actual and only true I that I am – the one, universal  Life…that is Being ItSelf as this very I that I Am – whether that I is expressing ItSelf as “this” presence “here” or “that” presence “there”….

There is NO deprivation – No loss – NO apartness – NO distance of time or place or space – only I Being ItSelf Omnipresently – at and as… every point of everywhere and everything.

I need not strive to understand.... but accept...with wholehearted and joyous agreement…. and with willingness to Know again and remember all that I...truly IS and already and eternally AM.... as One with God and Self.

Vision

This is an Experience from 1996….I just reread it and it still brings such joy to my heart.  It is posted as I recorded it at that time.

 

   Throughout the years on my Path, I have had Experiences where my inner faculty of Vision was suddenly opened and another dimension of Life was shown to me. In one instant I would be standing looking at a human being and body, or viewing a beautiful, though physical, landscape – the next instant nothing would be present but an interior sense of Spiritual Creation. My awareness would be filled with the experience of the Divine nature of what a second before had seemed human and physical.
   
    These moments have been isolated incidents that have come “out of the blue” rather then as an experience I have consciously controlled. Always, always, they have had a profound impact on me and always they leave me hungry for another “shot of Reality.”
   
    Recently I have been blessed with a Vision that is beyond anything I have known thus far.
    
     A short time ago, a new friend came into my life and so we were spending some time together one afternoon, talking, sharing. As we sat, I was aware of many things, the physical beauty of my surroundings, the cold soda I was drinking, my daughter in a near by room, but mostly I was aware on a feeling level – trust, softness, friendship, caring.
    
     And then, ever so gently, quietly, my awareness became filled with this inner Vision. The atmosphere of Soul filled my Consciousness and the Light of Being permeated every aspect of my senses. My heart exploded with the Joy of Oneness – in that instant (however long that may have been I do not know) there was the awareness of only one Life – not my life, not Ellen’s life – but only the One, Pure, Perfect Life of Spirit that we share and that is our Reality. There was no division, no duality, no sense of time or space, no thought of separate bodies, minds, ways, or wills. It was a feeling of ecstasy that was exquisitely sensual, yet wholly removed from anything of a physical nature. It was an Experience that so far superseded my human idea of unity, union and joy that trying to put it into words almost sullies it. And yet, somehow, this time, I feel called upon to share it.

     The impact of this stayed with me for days and continues for me now. Never have I touched so closely, the depth, the richness, the power, and the boundless beauty of the Soul of man. Within my sister, I was shown, once again, the very kingdom of our Divinity. My reverence for Life as it truly is overflows because I have “seen’ the sacred Core of everything that has Existence.

     We are now as God created us and nothing of the human dream can in any way change or interfere with this Fact. What we seem to be or do in our humanhood is irrelevant to the Truth of Being. The Spirit of the Universal One expresses Itself as our individual Being. As Spiritual Identity, living within a  Spiritual universe, we each have an absolutely unique and individual place within the Universal scheme of things and “no one else,” no “other” individual, can fill our place or fulfill our particular function. God, Spirit, is now manifesting Itself as the Love, Beauty, Holiness and Joy of our Eternal Individuality for the purpose of glorifying Itself in some unique way that cannot be fulfilled by any other part of the Sonship.
    
    Our Value, our Sacredness, our Worth, comes not from who we think we are, not from anything that is part of our human sense of self and life – but from Who and What we are as Divine Beings. We are the image, likeness and totality of the very Essence, Nature and Activity of the One, Perfect, Divine Life and this and this alone is what gives us our Individuality and every expression of that. Regardless of what the outer appearance is, this is the Truth that surrounds us and is us.

     I walk forward now in my life with a greater conviction and trust that we do live, move and have our being in a Spiritual universe and as Spiritual, Divine Beings. And though my senses continue to deceive me, showing me all things that contradict this Reality, I cling to this Truth with faith and confidence knowing that in this way I will continue to receive Illumination.

     To each of us, the last thought for now is this:
Do not look to your human mind, brain, senses, body or brother to confirm this, for you will not find evidence of this in the corporeal, physical sense of the world.

     Look within, look to your own Soul, your own precious Divine Life and let It tell you of this truth, let It fill your heart with Love for your Holy Self and you will then seek it with all your passion, with all your heart, mind and being. As you seek to know your Self, It will reveal itself to you in ways you cannot know of in this moment and through everything and everyone that surrounds you.
    
    You are Divine not human, you are Spiritual not physical, you are Holy not lacking, and you are the Life that is everywhere present, not the life that is separate from all else. Give your energy, your attention, your Love, to Who you are and all that you are not will fall away.
   
Your Divine Being sets before you a banquet. Come to the Feast of your own Holiness and sup with It.
                                                                  Deborah Lorensen…1996

Using your mind

You have asked…”How can I look upon these world events in a way that is healing to my heart rather than frightening, sentimental or sorrowful?”
First thing….ALWAYS…regardless of the seeming condition or circumstance you are aware of … whether it seems “personal” to you or further away in “others”,  whether a seemingly  small irritation or a catastrophic happening…STOP…and consciously remind yourself of Who, What and Where you are and what your sole purpose and commitment is. Without this fundamental and absolute Truth…you have no beginning and no true foundation to stand upon or pray out from.

You are a Child of Heaven, one with God as the very extension of Her Spirit, living, moving and having your Being in and as the Universe of changeless  Light, Love, Wholeness and Peace.…beyond which, there is nothing. This is the Truth – the unalterable Fact of your Life and Presence right here and right now. It does not matter that you do not yet fully remember this Reality, or experience your Self and your world in this way – all that matters in this moment, is that you accept this Truth, bring your mind and heart into agreement with it and give your full willingness and dedication to the single purpose that everything….without exception…..be used as a means to have realization and experience of it.

Now, as this Child who has decided to remember Who she is…how can you walk amidst the constant clamor of what seems to be a world of chaos, pain, lack, warring factions and terror… using it to facilitate for yourself….your single hearted desire, purpose and intent….to remember and experience your Self in your oneness with God and all aspects of creation?

Through the laying down and releasing of all judgment. A  different way to state this is…through giving your mind a different purpose. Stop using the mind to judge, analyze, compare, criticize,, evaluate and condemn. This only keeps you, beautiful Child…in a self-induced state of separation from the love, safety, gentleness and unity that you truly desire. Stop staring at the pictures and images that you call your world, giving them your meaning, focusing with rapt attention on them…so certain that you see and understand everything about everything and everyone. Using your mind in this manner keeps you asleep and unaware of the spiritual Reality that you so long to remember and know again.

Easy to say this right? But how can you make headway in this? As a Child of Heaven, you – alone – decide how you will use your mind, what purpose you will give to it. Since you have already decided you do not wish to use it as a weapon of warfare and separation (judgment) – you can and you must actively and consciously choose another intent for it. Choose to have it be an instrument for Something higher than its own chaotic and hopeless level of understanding , opinions, reasoning and thinking. Choose to have it be so clean, so clear of judgments, so pure and open and receptive…that the Breath of God may flow through it…blessing you and all around you with Freedom.

Your power to decide how you will use the instrument of your mind – is the way out of fear for you now. There is a Presence within you and with you – always – Whose sole function and interest is to restore to your heart and your mind the Truth about your oneness with your Source  and what your Life is…as the direct expression of all She is and has. This Spirit within knows only the Things of Reality, and this Divine  perspective, interpretation and awareness of absolutely ALL things that are included within your  consciousness….. is given you freely…as you give your mind willingly to receiving this  in place of the judgment that took up its attention before.  In this way, through this pure Vision and perspective flowing through you to touch all you look upon, you are truly loving your brothers and sisters.

Choose you today whom you will serve Child of Light – be taught only of this Divine Love. Release your interest and fascination with the false and hurtful idea that using your mind in a personal way brings you joy and freedom and instead – give your mind to Me - Who will use it on behalf of your Remembrance and restoration – the  one true gift and contribution to the whole Self….that you can make.

The Hunky Jesus Picture

Many years ago I walked into a spiritual bookstore and way in the back of the store on a high shelf I saw this picture. It really stopped me dead in my tracks. I felt a rush of joy, a sense of familiarity, love and rightness that I had never felt before with any image of Jesus…..though I had seen many. I thought….”Oh…there he is…that’s how I feel Him in my heart, not distant, aloof or untouchable ….but here and now, in and with authentic intimacy and love….a true brother, friend, companion and guide.” Needless to say I bought the picture and since that time have given out many to friends along the way that feel a connection with me and with Jesus. It is lovingly referred to as the “hunky Jesus” picture.

Okay…..here’s the thing. I know this is just a picture, an image and a symbol. I have had times when I thought it silly to have a picture (externally and internally) and have decided to be more abstract again…to grow up, be more Absolute, less personal….in my awakening process to and with God. But those times don’t last for very long because there is a sense of loneliness that wells up in my heart when I get too Absolute. I have learned, after many years of going back and forth between the intimate and personal approach and the impersonal, formless and Absolute approach….that everything of my being responds and expands through the more tactile and personal …… while……everything of my being starts to feel dry and sad and withered without it. Finally, as I was pondering this one day and moving towards the thought…..once again…that I “should” really let go of all images, that sweet Voice interrupted my analysis of the situation and told me to relax….that if/when it was important for me to release this approach to Reality….. using certain symbols…it would come naturally and without any sense of loss at all.

Recently, as I was sitting in my prayer chair, with my candles lit and incense burning, I gazed at this picture and I noticed that the joy of it still filled me…..with a deep smile and a sense of closeness, nearness and oneness. And then Jesus spoke to me about it….and now I am quite sure that we will not be having to have any more conversations about this subject. He basically told me that He brought the picture to me that day in the bookstore, as a gift of His Love…… because I do respond to an intimate and personal approach to Reality.

He continued and said “yes, it’s true….this picture and image is but a symbol….. but I am standing behind it…. drawing your mind and heart…. through it… into conscious togetherness with Me…..and it is this merging which restores to you….. the awareness and remembrance of our Oneness and sameness…..which is your awakening to the Light of Christ that we share.”

He told me to freely love and utilize the symbol, without hesitation or reserve, that it would never hold me back but would help focus and center my heart while drawing me past the form and into the Omnipresent Light beyond it. The scripture “I am the Door” came to me….and I understood it from a different perspective. He said to use the image to pray with whenever I felt the desire to do so and to enter into it in my deeper prayer times. He told me that Love uses symbols to help us awaken and that this had been and still is a Gift for me and that I can just embrace it and enjoy it and utilize it. All symbols and concepts will fade away….but only when they are no longer useful.

A few days after this He said one more thing that I want to share. He said that we can all understand and use our images in time (our body-personalities) the same way. As the “Hunky Jesus”  picture is a symbol through which His Love draws me into Union with Him as the means of my awakening…..our images can be seen in the same way….as visible, tangible symbols through which He may Shine  to draw to Him…. through us…. those that can respond to Him. What a joy and what a beautiful way to help us release the ego self.

A Starting Point

A Starting Point

With everything we think, feel and do….there is a STARTING POINT. In other words, ALL of our thoughts and feelings and actions come forth from a specific “place” deep within our psyches….they don’t just randomly come to us….they bubble up from the depths of what we believe in our hearts about Who, What and Where we actually are…right in this present here and now. Our starting point is something like the little machine you find at the bottom of a fish tank. As it quietly runs way down deep in the tank it constantly produces bubbles that rise to the surface of the water. Even if we are unaware of the little machine…we can’t help but to see and even hear the constant stream of bubbles it’s activity appears as.

And so with us….way down in the depth of our hearts, we have something like this….a little machine, actually two little machines or pumps, that are constantly emitting two diametrically opposed belief systems and stories about Who and Where we are….appearing on the surface of our awareness as our believed Identity, our self-concept and the story of our life in time.

One machine is pumping out a story that tells us we have and are… separated from God and from our Self as Her beloved and changeless Expression. Out of this belief of separation, which this little machine lying at the bottom of our psyche is continually pumping out….comes our entire experience of human hood or the mental state that still believes it is living apart from Heaven. Human hood is the experience of duality….where everything has an opposite….where there is love and fear, safety and danger, goodness and evil, light and darkness, Spirit and physicality. In this dream of separation, even where there seems to be beauty, love and happiness…lurking around the corner, somewhere, waiting to pounce on us, is its supposed opposite. And on a deep level, even more terrifying for us, human hood is the state of belief that we have truly lost our precious Identities as Children or direct Expressions of Divine Love, that live, move and have their being, in a spiritual Universe created out of Love without opposite.

This is a very simplistic way of stating this, I know, but I love simplicity and feel we can all benefit sometimes from it.

Anyhow, this machine tells us stories about who and where we are that perpetuate our belief that we have become and still are…. separated from our Source, that we have actually changed ourselves from being Expressions of perfect Love, Light and eternal Joy, forever and ever embraced in our Home of perfect Love and Safety….to being people in a scary world, where everything and everyone is separated….and subject to everything but the Love of God…..living in a universe of conflict and opposites rather then within Her eternal Gift of Safety and Peace. As long as we continue to listen to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures and images that come forth from this belief of separation, this particular machine….we will cry….and every tear, though it seems to be because of all the sad things that happen to us and around us, is really an expression of the grief and profound despair we all feel in believing we are no longer and have lost forever….. the Beautiful, Free Beings that we really are.

This machine or thought system though….with its full story of an identity and life and experience other than Love and a Universe other than Spirit……is all made up……and as we desire to awaken from its false story and the dream of separation it spins out for us….with all the thoughts, feelings, and images that support it….we discover a wholly different ‘machine” with a whole different story that we can and must consciously turn to.

This other machine or thought system or Voice is a completely different Starting Point….based on what is real and true rather then false and made up. This Voice tells us that we are NOT separated from Love, that we have NOT ruined ourselves, that we DO live, move and have our being in a Universe of Love, that we ARE Beloved of God and Children of Heaven rather then Children of the world. Connecting with this machine or Voice connects us with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, and perspectives that bubble up from It…..and awakens our hearts fully from the dream story of living apart from Reality.

Two “machines”….two Voices, two stories…..living deep within our psyches…..”Choose ye this day, whom ye will serve.” or in more current language…. whom we will listen to, learn from and think with. In everything we think, feel, do and are….which STARTING POINT do we want to be consciously connected with?

The Jesus Thing

 I have just reread my “About Me” page and in one of the last paragraph’s  I state…

“So, my intent is to move out of my journals and into the blog space while still maintaining the informal, completely honest and open relationship I am progressively experiencing with Jesus, and my Divine Mother… as They so lovingly bring my heart and attention back into conscious union with the one divine Self and Life and Existence that is our Omnipresent and shared Reality.”

Well, I haven’t done that at all really. I still record everything in my journals and they continue to increase in number while the blog just sits here with lots of open space just staring at me. But I can  feel with increasing “pressure”  the “push” to get out of the privacy of writing in my journals to writing in this shared space. Though of course I find great joy in the thought that my words, thoughts and experiences may inspire and assist others that read them…..this is really for me…to further expand my own awareness and experience of the beautiful Revelations and  Insights I receive…. through the act of sharing them. Jesus tells us that we must teach and share all that we desire to Remember and Experience.

I will admit here…so that this valueless thinking, feeling and self-concept can be dispelled entirely in the Light of our joining….that I still have a lingering sense of shyness, reservation, and reticence of some kind…even a lingering hint of embarrassment ….around the whole Jesus thing. I mean…in my inner heart and awareness…the joy, gratitude, desire, and increasing conviction of what Jesus really is and what His presence within my awareness really means…. is the core of my life in time and the cause of my breathing every day. Yet still… though these self imposed restrictions have lifted markedly….they can still come forth in different ways that shut me off from authentic sharing.

So, having said this “out loud” now…in front of you who read this…..I am certain that these egoic ideas will wholly disappear from my mind…because I KNOW they are without value or joy….and do not serve the one Heart and Self that we share. For those of you who have specifically asked me to please continue writing…..I am renewed in my commitment to “speaking” clearly and candidly….and will move past the stuttering, sputtering business into the clarity I actually feel. Thank you for “bugging” me.

In closing this post I am going to include a letter I wrote recently to a friend that has had a deeper experience of the Christ Identity through Jesus then myself….and I was guided to write to him and his lovely wife to ask for prayer joining and support for my own fuller Realization and Experience of this. I include this letter because it speaks briefly about a very important and defining experience I had and also succinctly reveals my true Heart at this time…..
 
“Good morning and greetings. Thank you for the beautiful work that you do and all the love you share.

I feel the need to share something with you. In the early 1990's I had...what I call.....my Jesus Encounter....and during this time Jesus said to me..

."You love me because of all that you see in me and think that I am. But you believe that we are different. I am here with you to teach you that you and I are One and the Same."

He not only said these words to me but He put his hand on my heart and transmitted them to me as a living Truth. During the years since.... I have walked with Him very consciously and then not so consciously.....having him be in the background again. It has been on and off....obviously from my end of things.

At this time in my experience however.....I hunger...so deeply and fully....to live and walk and share from the Realization of what he imparted to me that day....that we are One and the Same Spirit.....the very Spirit of God, of Love....Children of the Light, the Christ Beloved. I feel an increasing inner "pressure" to claim my Childhood...through union with His Spirit.... and to walk this earth as witness to that Truth.....to the Truth that only Christ is here and real and present. He tells me that I am a Child of Heaven not a child of the world and that our conscious togetherness.....as the One Spirit NOW....is the gift I have come to be and share.

I have prayed and do pray...to let His Spirit, His Holiness and Light, that is my own and everything everywhere....Shine in me Brightly...and through and as me to lift and heal and bless and joy....every heart He brings to Us. I have yearned for a connection with someone who has this experience and would pray with me to help me....let go of self more....that this Light of  the Christ Spirit.....may flow through me as It desires to do so. One day He said....
.
"I am the Light that always shines in your mind and through your heart and image. But you must KNOW this and TRUST it completely."

Will you and your wife and Jesus join with me for the CONSCIOUS assurance, experience and fulfillment of this? Writing to you in this way has been coming to me for days now....so here we are. Thank you for being present and reading this. With much Love and appreciation...”